... and when I am dying...

as I fall through the infinite abyss... out of the darkness into the very womb of light, fly up while going down, I think.

I think of the times when I was alive. I think of times when darkness was sweet, I think of times, when solitude was a bliss, I think of the time when I missed both darkness and solitude. I think...

Its all coming back to me, the spectrum of colors surrounding me slowly fading into the darkness of the sun, the sonatas fading away into the silence of the sea. As the walls of the abyss leave light behind, the hiss of the still air in the abyss piercing my ears... I break.

My clothes burning away... shreds flying above me, tears fill my eyes and spill out into the womb of light, but I move on leaving them behind. I move on leaving the darkness and the light, the sound and the silence, solitude and society, I leave myself behind... and I move on.

As I near the womb of light, I realise, its not light that I am falling into, its not darkness that I am falling from, its not the walls of the abyss that are closing in, its not the hiss of the air thats piercing my ears... its nothing. Its the Nothing.

The Nothingness that fills the abyss hits me hard now... but I dont feel the pain. I dont feel the abrupt silence, I dont feel the sudden pause that has come about... I just feel Nothing... The Nothing. Have I reached ? Where have I reached ?

As the question haunts me, I look around. The Nothingness slowly fades out. I see myself fading back in view. I can now see the colors, I can now hear the sound, I can now experience the darkness and the silence as the absence of colors and sound. I feel happy again... I Feel again ! I have fallen back to the darkness of the sun, the silence of the sea and the spectrum of colors.

But then...wasn't it death ? Or was it just the absence of life... I wonder...I Wonder.