The Silverfish

Lying in a womb of soft wetness, I see streaks of white chasing each other in a vast blueness. Life rushes through me in cold waves, teasing me, keeping me alive, but only for minutes. The streaks keep getting distorted, but I am unable to determine if they really are changing shapes, or is it my vision failing me. I try to turn around, I toss around, trying to change my view, but it never does. All I can see is white streaks in a vast blueness.

A cold fire is devouring my skin. Life seems to be gushing out of me. I try to hold on to it, but it seems impossible. I open my mouth wide open, as much as I can, as if to suck in all the life around me, to stay alive, but all I get is the same cold fire burning me inside. The white streaks carry on.

The white streaks suddenly start changing shapes, recognizable ones. I can see myself in those shapes, and some more like me. I know this. Its my own life being played in front of me. The cold fire has become fierce, uncontrollable. The waves of life rushing are dying out. They just tease me from a distance now, not coming forward to sooth me, not touching me anymore.

The soft wetness is drying out, becoming hard, harsh, hurting me. I try to move to somewhere more comfortable, but my body doesn't bear with me, refuses to move at all. My eyes are not in my control anymore. They move fast, randomly, but still, the view never changes, its the same white streaks in a vast blueness.

The cold fire has become unbearable now. Its has seeped through my skin, into my very being. Every nerve in my body seems to be burning with it. Suddenly, a chill takes over my body, and I go numb. Completely numb. No more burning, no more pain. No more sounds, just a soft white light, immense peace, and numbness. Finally, I die.

Tethered to a thin sliver of light, as I rise above the world, I see myself, lying lifeless, still, covered with bits of sand, lying on the shore, my silver scales glitter and the shimmer like the sand itself. But death leaves no beautiful marks. My mouth open, as if trying to suck the whole world in, my eyes, stony, dead, blood shot with all the frantic rolling. I see a huge wave rolling on the surface of sea. As it breaks on the shore, it drags my body along with, into the ocean, into the sea, into the very world where I was born and survived, the very world where I had wanted to live, the very world I longed for when I was dying... a divine funeral may be.