Wednesday, October 04, 2006

[No title]

On one of the days of my loneliness, I decided to sit by msyelf and talk... to myself. It was a strange feeling at first, the autism that I had gotten into had taken the better of me. People apart, I realised that I had even started running away from myself. But then, how long. How long can one elude himself, the confrontation has to happen someday. So I decided I better be today.

I discovered, when you have built up so many walls around yourself to make it difficult for people to approach you, you make it difficult for yourself too. Still, I kept on trying to talk... to myself. I hesitated in asking questions so that I dont upset myself, I hesitated in answering questions so that I dont upset myself. But then, words can only say so much. It wasn't much use talking.

I delved deeper into my interiors. I had colored myself black all over, everything was dark inside, it hid everything else that was there before. I tried putting in some other colors, some bright shades of life, but then, the darkness was so strong, any color that I tried comepletely lost its essence to the black that was all around. I was slowly realising my mistake. Its easier to add colors and soften the austerity of white, but difficult to change black, it just remains as it is.

I am still wondering, can I remove the black veil, can I fight the darkness and let the light spread around, can I ever talk to myself again ?

2 comments:

SOUMYA said...

superb ganju patel... i liked the narration... keep it up...

Anonymous said...

good stuff dude . a lot of people will identify with the line of thought.keep going.and one more thing, black is a good colour ...though not my fav ;)